Chronicles of a 32-Year-Old Woman Reentering the Dating World
Lately, we hear a lot about a new epidemic: male loneliness.
It seems like the dating scene isn’t serving anyone anymore. Women, men, non-binary folks, straight or queer — we’re all caught in a dating game with no winners.
But is there really an epidemic out there, or are we simply facing the consequences of the speed-dating world we now live in?
Social media, dating apps, and the rhythm of modern life have completely transformed dating. The younger generation is reportedly having far fewer sexual and romantic experiences than previous ones. Men are consuming more misogynistic content than ever before, getting tangled up in the manosphere, where women are painted as the problem.
Meanwhile, women are becoming increasingly independent and are no longer centering their lives around romantic relationships.
And now we’re seeing a global crisis: birth rates are dropping rapidly.
But whose fault is it, really?
Are women becoming too demanding — or are men just being left behind?
My own recent return to the dating scene left me exhausted.
What do you mean you’re 37 and still “not good at texting”?
What do you mean you’re 45 and still not sure what you’re looking for?
That’s the reality for a lot of women out there.
Dating apps gave us the illusion of endless choice — a giant fishing pond with someone “better” always just around the corner. But the truth? The more people you entertain, the more drained you become.
Men have started exploiting yet another space that was meant to bring people together — using dating apps not to build connection, but to boost their ego. To take, without giving anything back.
Yes, the number of likes and matches may be endless, but… where is the connection?
I never imagined that in 2025, I’d still be answering, “What are you looking for?” to a variety of different men.
How do you even answer that? We’re both on a dating app — isn’t the answer obvious? A partner.
And there lies the disconnect.
For women, dating apps are a means to a goal: connection.
For many men, the dating app is the goal — to build a “roster,” as Gen Z calls it.
So we’re starting from two very different places, with very different intentions.
And women? We’re fed up.
We’re tired of performing. Of entertaining. Of getting nothing in return.
So we’ve started to invest elsewhere.
We’ve created women-only spaces.
We’ve decentered men from our lives.
We’ve built careers, solo-traveled, cultivated deep friendships.
We’ve replaced bitterness and disappointment with joy, stability, and peace.
Men, on the other hand, haven’t yet realized that the problem isn’t women, or their independence, or the dating apps themselves.
It’s the overuse of them.
It’s the “something better will come along” mindset.
It’s treating dating apps like a restaurant menu.
Until men begin to value meaningful connection over quantity, there won’t be much hope.
Until they realize that dating is not the goal — it’s a means to an end — the loneliness will grow.
The real goal is finding someone who makes you better.
Someone to pour your love into and watch them flourish.
It’s a good morning text.
It’s “Hey, I saw this and thought of you.”
That’s the goal, guys.
But until we’re all on the same page, let’s just stay in our different worlds.
Because my peace?
It’s more important than anyone could ever be.
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