The well-known story of the one and only future queen of England — yes, Waity-Katy herself — is proof enough: having a boyfriend has always been embarrassing.
In the last few days, British Vogue published a piece offering what they called a “hot take” on the state of dating in 2025. Apparently, the shocking revelation is… being someone’s girlfriend is humiliating.
To which the entire female population collectively responded: yes, obviously.
We’ve known this. We’ve lived this.
Let’s rewind: Kate Middleton was mocked for years. Not for being unqualified. Not for breaking protocol. Not for any scandal.
But for being too available to her boyfriend.
Meanwhile, Prince William — the man who strung her along — was praised for “taking his time.” Strategic. Royal. Desirable.
So just to recap:
She was humiliated for loving him.
He was celebrated for making her wait.
And if the future Queen of England wasn’t immune to the public shame of girlfriendhood, then let’s be real — the rest of us never stood a chance.
Let’s agree on something:
None of us are waiting for a throne.
There’s no crown at the end of this.
So enduring the same humiliation Kate did?
It’s not worth it. Not for us. Not anymore.
The Bigger Picture
Women everywhere are waking up to the scam.
They’re deleting dating apps.
Pausing romantic relationships.
Some are joining movements like Korea’s 4B, rejecting dating, marriage, and motherhood entirely.
It’s not a trend.
It’s a refusal.
Because romantic relationships — as we were taught to perform them — are exhausting.
And the men?
They’re suffering.
Lonelier, angrier, and more confused than ever.
Because they didn’t evolve.
They still expect from us what their mothers gave their fathers: loyalty, caretaking, emotional labor, admiration, blind support.
But here’s the truth:
we’re not our mothers.
And our mothers didn’t have what we do:
education, therapy, income, choice, and the slowly-growing freedom to say no.
Marriage Was the Goal — Until It Wasn’t
Our mothers were taught to be wives.
To be chosen.
To go from being their father’s daughter to their husband’s partner — without ever being allowed to be themselves.
And when they realized they could live alone, peacefully, divorce rates skyrocketed.
Many remarried. Some didn’t.
But one thing was clear: marriage was never a guarantee of happiness — only of endurance.
And still, the shame of being single lingered.
And for many, it still does.
Because we were raised on one rule:
being chosen is everything.
The Rise (and Crash) of Dating Apps
When dating apps arrived, we were told it would be easier.
More access. More chances.
More “freedom.”
But men saw the buffet — and instead of growing up, they built rosters.
Instead of choosing, they kept swiping.
And suddenly, a relationship became a performance.
A competition.
A place where women were emotional support animals, and men offered nothing in return.
We didn’t just lose interest in dating.
We lost trust in the whole concept.
We signed up for love.
We got ghosted, breadcrumbed, situationshipped, and trauma bonded.
My Wake-Up Call
I’ve written before about my disappointment with dating apps.
But nothing hit harder than dating in my 30s.
I truly believed that by now, the men would’ve done the work.
That they’d be emotionally fluent. Healed. Self-aware.
Instead?
I met men who thought they were the prize — because their fathers once were.
Let me tell you what I bring to the table:
I work.
I have two degrees.
I speak four languages.
I go to therapy.
I make myself laugh.
I create joy and peace in my own life.
So unless a man can offer more than what I already give myself —
Why should I bother?
One of my last boyfriends dragged me into hell.
I fell in love with his potential — the version I created in my mind.
But he had no intention of becoming that man.
And when I asked for more?
He refused to rise.
So I had to say it:
Tschüss.
The Culture Shift
Women are no longer waiting.
Not for texts. Not for rings. Not for men to grow up.
We are refusing to humiliate ourselves in the name of being “chosen.”
Because if Kate Middleton — with her beauty, grace, and royal family in-laws — was mocked for being a loyal girlfriend…
What do they expect from the rest of us?
We’re not waiting anymore.
We’re not auditioning.
We’re not buying into the myth that being a girlfriend is an achievement.
Because the truth is — and has always been:
Being a girlfriend is embarrassing.
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